i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
When are your genitals available?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
