I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize