She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
