I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
