he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
