She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
