What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize