Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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