Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
