you would pick up someone in the library
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
