I wish I only lived at night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
