KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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