so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
