his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
