not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
