Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
