I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
