I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
