i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
grandma shit on top of the toilet
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
