I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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