Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
