I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
