Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize