no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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