I need help removing her.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
