The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
