Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
