Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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