Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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