life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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