Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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