wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
