in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
