ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
