that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
