new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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