fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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