His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize