I think scott just propositioned me for sex
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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