Your face is a jimmy john
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
