Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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