just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
