her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
