Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
