he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
