I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
