somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
