I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Randomize
