I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
