butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
