i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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