Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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