We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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