she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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