my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize