so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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