i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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