i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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