So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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