It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's never too late to be topless.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
