are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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