we're blogging at a bar
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize