My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
