i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize